вторник, 17 септември 2013 г.

It's always worth it...

At least I think so. I arranged my life in the last weeks. In such way that no one could ever make it the same. I started to follow my dreams, this wasn't the first time that I followed my dreams, but it feels like this. I started grabbing every opportunity as it was my last one. I started running every day and eating healthy food, I also cleared my whole head from accumulate crap from the past year and remembered the objectives that I must achieve.
I did all this things, because I didn't want to think about you, because I have a hole in my chest... but i can not have you next to me. I will find something to complete the hole in my chest, but is so hard to find the right way.
The things are not so bad, I only miss you and there is not a single day without thinking about you. I'd say it's scary, because I miss you, but you don't write me, I even don't want to hear about you, because I am afraid, that I could miss you even more. I feel angry sometimes, because even when we talk I do not know what to say and what should I tell you? So what I am going to tell you anyway?!  I am a person of action, and there is nothing interesting to talk about in Skype, besides that, you never have time for me.
You know i would do everything for you, if I could... But this month I am not feeling like doing anything at all for someone else, because it is time to live my own life. To make things to work, otherwise I don't mind if you decide to write me, or to call me, because I will always find some time for you, because you deserve it, after all you changed me. So is your fault if I am acting strange, or if I am telling some people stuff that I usually wouldn't tell :D But I guess they deserve it! 
In the next couple of months everything will be different so don't be mad at me, I am trying really hard to build my future and to be happy. The more things I learn, the more miserable I am feeling, sometimes I have the feeling that if I was stupid everything would be just perfect. 
But I am not, so I will live with that.
See you soon (hoping for that, you know why!)!

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