I thought a lot before I started to write this letter. I have no idea what I want to say to you, but who knows. Maybe in the end of the letter something will make sense. If I could write you a letter in your language, I would, definitely.
All my life I have seen things that many people have never seen or experienced. Perhaps because of that I’m a different type of person and I think you know that. Also, I have never written a letter to someone, not this type of letter. You are the first person that knows me, before I've told you anything about me and that’s why sometimes I didn't know how to act or what to say. To be honest, this is the first time in my life that I don’t know what to say, and I haven’t prepared an answer in the beginning. Just because you are not predictable. Not at all. And I am used to people that I can predict.
I don’t know. Maybe is the fact that you remind me of me. And you do. At the beginning I was thinking that we don’t have anything in common, but after we spend so much time together, I've come to realize that we actually do. And I was so confused over that, because even when you don’t understand yourself, I can understand you… I don’t know why… I just do. And that is the strangest thing.
Moreover, yes, I miss you. I explain that to myself with the fact that we are friends. Or at least I think so. For couple of years I have been thinking of myself like a limited collection of something, but after I met you, I started to think that you are limited too. You are the type of person that shows to others something that you are not, and when you showed me a part of the other side of you.. well I was surprised that you are a completely different type of person. Not in a bad way. Though, I kind of already knew that. I guess I kind of get lost in my thoughts and I forgot that I already knew that.
But now that you are away, I have plenty of time to think about things. You actually changed me; well I guess that is the funniest thing. I was so convinced that no one can change me. But you did a great job, you changed me in a positive way, I guess.
Every time when I have to say “goodbye” to someone, I’m so cautious, because I don’t want to say something wrong or to do something that is not appropriate. I also had a rule to not get attached to someone that I could lose. That’s why in most of the cases I end up not saying anything at all. Because I think “Should I say that, or not?!”, and by the time I figure out what I want to say the moment is gone. I didn't want to say something that you will probably understand in the wrong way. The way I see it, everyone gets a miracle. I don’t know for you, but this month… I don’t have words to explain it.
I hope you've found a better place, because you deserve it. And according to Superman dreams save us, dreams lift us up and transform us. I hope you will find everything that you are looking for, and you will never stop fighting for the things that you value the most. As for myself I’m trying to learn how to finish things that I have started. Also, I’m trying to change myself. It’s a cold war, but I’m not giving up. I’m hoping that someday we will meet again; I hope we are still friends then. And I wouldn’t mind if you write me a letter from time to time. [Snow Patrol – Chasing cars]
Have a great year, take a lot of pictures and smile! I’ll make my autumn the best one, also will follow one advice – the best is yet to come!
If you don’t mind, can I write you a letter sometimes?