четвъртък, 17 октомври 2013 г.

Find your keeper!

For a long time I was searching for someone that would stay for a little longer. I can't say that I didn't succeed. I did. But unfortunately fate doesn't like me, but at least I can say that our feelings are mutual.
The struggle is coming when you have come to realize that you had succeed. Then you start to doubt, you doubt that person, you doubt yourself. Mostly you ask yourself different questions, some of them don't make any sense when you sayd them out loud, but in your head - this is the only thing that makes sense.
You don't want to let this person, because you have finally found someone that is willing to stay. He is letting you literally in his soul, without any doubt, but you can't do the the same for him. But after all aren't we all waiting to be read by someone, praying that they’ll tell us that we make sense?
If you haven't found that person already, you are probably doing something wrong, something that you think is right, but if you are not happy, that probably this is not the right way... Or worse, this is not the right person. Then you are just wasting your time. And there is nothing more important than time, because the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. When you give your time, you are giving a portion of your life that will never get back, and when you know that you give that portion to the wrong person... Well, yes, you are wasting your precious life.
And somewhere between THE ONE and your DREAMS you found out that you have grown up... You take a quick look at your room and you found the symptoms of growing up. I don't know why but with the age the things that you own increases. You are no longer a kid with one jacket that you know wont fit next summer, and your parents have to buy you new one, or with one pair of shoes that will be too small for you in a year from now. You are an adult now - you have black coats, dark costumes, and pairs of nice shoes, that you can wear whenever you want. And little by little you start collecting, fall into some relation with these things, begin collecting them without even realizing how they enslave you.
But why are we measuring our happiness with things? Why do we live to have things? Why do we live to save money to buy things? Can we just live for today. How can we leave this life? What is the end of this living? Or worse - does this living have end?
We are friends with people that we no longer like, but we still talk to them, because they know something about us, that we don't want to risk to come out. We pretend to be fine with the people that have copied our entire life, and now they are pretending to live it, like is their own!!
We live far away from the people that we love and want to be with. We live in such a world that make us sick. And whether you try to escape from this circle, you end up again saving money, because otherwise you can't go and see the person that you love. In the end of the day it is not the distance that is separating you - it's the money.
You have found your keeper, but he is so far away... You two don't even speak the same language, but still that doesn't change the fact that he is your soul mate and you miss him. And you will do everything to see him again. Even if that means that you will ignore yourself.

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